It’s no big secret that marriages are challenging and don’t always work out. Frankly, not all partnerships are meant to be, and sometimes, all you have left to do is start afresh.
That’s exactly what happened to u/Suspicious_Pair_4940 – however, his past is not willing to let him go, and he’s now facing some difficulties with his own child. The man was recently invited to her wedding, but the woman neglected to do the same for his new wife and kids, which led to a conflict.
More info: Reddit
Man refuses to go to daughter’s wedding as she didn’t invite his family
Image credits: abugajny (not the actual image)
He said he was “very hurt” as everyone else was invited, including her mom’s boyfriend and his sons
Image credits: Olezzo (not the actual image)
Image credits: Leah Kelley (not the actual image)
Image source: u/Suspicious_Pair_4940
“AITA for telling my daughter that I won’t be attending her wedding?” – this father took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental groups to ask its members if it was wrong of him to reject his daughter’s wedding invitation because she didn’t invite his wife and kids. The post managed to garner over 12K upvotes as well as 3.5K comments discussing the situation.
Did you know that according to this piece from Wilkinson & Finkbeiner, a family law firm in San Diego County, researchers estimate that 41% of all first marriages end in divorce? Well, the author of today’s story also happens to fall under this category – however, there were bigger things that followed the separation than he perhaps might’ve anticipated.
The thing is, the Redditor’s daughter is getting married soon, yet she didn’t invite the man’s wife or their kids to the wedding. Naturally, he was very hurt and taken aback, so he stated that since his family wasn’t welcome, he shouldn’t be either. The soon-to-be bride was furious and allegedly called him crying, calling him a jerk for doing this as she couldn’t come to terms with the fact that her own father wasn’t going to walk her down the aisle.
The netizen then revealed that his offspring was a “happy child” until she was 13, when he and her mother divorced. It goes without saying that she was devastated, which is why the family tried it all, including therapy. The man met his now-wife four years later, which sort of served as a second blow, as the woman had always hoped that her parents would reunite. But despite every attempt to forge at least some semblance of a connection, she never grew to like the man’s new partner.
Moreover, concerning the wedding, everyone else was invited, including her mom’s new boyfriend and his sons. The woman also told her dad that she was free to invite whoever she wanted; he agreed and even supported her decision – however, the man also noted that by the same logic, shouldn’t he also be free to decline the invitation?
He also noted that despite his best efforts, his daughter never learned to accept his new wife, which is why he made the decision to reject the invitation
Image credits: StudioVK (not the actual image)
Later on, the netizen also provided some additional comments on the story. He first acknowledged the verdict and thanked his fellow community members for weighing in on the situation and determining that, in this case, nobody is a jerk. The man believed he was doing the right thing by giving his daughter space – however, he truly wishes he knew how to combat this delicate matter.
He revealed that his ex told him she didn’t love him anymore and wanted to see other people, so they filed for a divorce and decided not to tell their daughter the reason, presumably for protection purposes. The woman changed her mind a year later and wanted to get back together, but the man’s love and trust had already faded. Close ones urged him to give their relationship a second chance for the sake of their child – however, the man opposed it, leaving him to be the scapegoat. The Redditor also stated that he always tried to show his daughter that she was his number one priority and, with time, even unveiled the actual truth behind his and her mother’s separation, hoping she would understand. But that never happened, and the bond he had dreamed of never came to life.
The man noted that he didn’t regret going against everyone’s advice regarding his old marriage and that he’s also going to do the same now and not attend his daughter’s wedding. She had made no attempt to establish any kind of relationship at all. She refused to meet her two brothers and even now isn’t very interested in him going; instead, she simply seems to want her father to lead her down the aisle since it would be humiliating otherwise.
What do you think about this situation? Would you have done things differently if you were in the author’s shoes?
Fellow community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation
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FAQs
"We would love to celebrate with you but unfortunately, we can't make it work." "I've given it a lot of thought, and unfortunately, we won't be able to attend." "Thanks so much for the invitation. Unfortunately, due to family/work/financial commitments, I won't be able to make it."
What does a mother say to her daughter on her wedding day? ›
Congratulations on your wedding day! To my darling daughter, your wedding day is only the beginning! You and [spouse's name] have so much to look forward to, and I can't wait to be there to share it with you. Being a mother was something I always wanted, but I never thought it would make me this happy!
What do you say to your daughter and son-in-law on wedding day? ›
Congratulations on your wedding, and may love and blessings fill your marriage. May your marriage symbolize love and devotion. Dear daughter and son-in-law, congratulations on your wedding. I appreciate you both.
What do you write in a letter to your daughter on her wedding day? ›
Give her and her future spouse a few words of wisdom or share an anecdote from your early years of marriage. Not only will it be a great way for your daughter to see you as an equal (and learn a bit about your marriage), but it will also give them valuable takeaways they can apply to their own union.
How to excuse for not attending a wedding? ›
"I'm sorry I/we will be unable to attend." Being ill, having to work that day, or out of town that day for business or a pre-planned vacation. You do not need an excuse at all. Just simply RSVP no or just say sorry I can't make it but send a nice card.
How do you respond to unable to attend a wedding? ›
If you have to write a response yourself, I would just put “Sorry, I am unable to attend. I wish the two of you a very happy wedding and all the best in the future.” Send a beautiful card with the message ” Hope you have a wonderful day and a very happy future. Sorry I can not be there to celebrate with you”.
How much money do you give your daughter on her wedding day? ›
Bottom line: There's no hard-and-fast rule on how much cash to give as a wedding gift. Wedding experts advise starting at $100. From there, you may want to adjust up to $500 based on factors such as your relationship with the couple, your budget and the cost of your attendance at the wedding.
How do you write a letter to your daughter she will never forget? ›
Write about what obstacles you have seen her overcome—emphasize such qualities as courage, resilience, strength, commitment, endurance, power. Write about dreams you have for her future, whether in the form of your wishes for her or things you pray about for her—do this without preaching or lecturing, only encourage.
What is a mother's role in her daughter's wedding? ›
It's often the role of the Mother of the Bride to bring up any religious or cultural affairs that should be worked into the wedding ceremony. She may also want to help supply the old and borrowed elements of the “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue” tradition.
Does the mother in law give the bride a gift on the wedding day? ›
Being the mother of the groom, it is essential to welcome your daughter-in-law with thoughtful presents to make her feel special. These sentimental gifts represent your happiness on the big day and strengthen the bond between you both.
Jewellery has always been a timeless and cherished gift for weddings. Consider gifting your daughter a piece of personalised jewellery, such as a necklace, bracelet, or ring, with her name, initials, or wedding date engraved on it.
What is the etiquette for mother of the bride? ›
The mother of the bride plays the role of hostess, meaning you should spend some time greeting guests during the reception. Although there are exceptions, other wedding-day duties may include sitting at the parents' table and dancing with the father of the bride to help warm up the dance floor.
How much money do I give at a wedding? ›
They suggest the following breakdown: coworkers or distant relatives should spend 50 to 75 dollars. Friends or relatives, 75 to 100 dollars. For close friends, family members, or if you're in the wedding party, you should spend 100 to 150 dollars—or more.
How do you apologize for not being able to attend? ›
“I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused by my absence. Unfortunately, I can't make it to the meeting due to an unexpected personal matter.” 2. “I'm sorry for any disruption caused, but I won't be able to attend the meeting as planned.
What to do if you can no longer attend a wedding? ›
Make It Up to the Couple
Following up with a heartfelt note or phone call is essential. Make sure to express your apologies and avoid pestering the bride and groom with a series of excuses. Additionally, Lam says you should still send a wedding gift to the couple and advises you do so "sooner rather than later!"
